So I haven’t typed anything in a while.
This is most likely to the fact I am nine finger typing at the moment. Which I am now surprisingly good at. And don’t laugh, you try touch typing with nine fingers with your usual flow and you will see it is most definitely a tough skill to master.
So what’s the dealio, yo yo?
I slammed the middle finger of my left hand in a sliding door at my place. Sure, it hurt. I didn’t think it was anything. A bit of blood, a bit of throbbing… she’ll be right. Woke up the next morning and the bottom half of my fingernail was blue. Eh. A bruise. If anything, I was impressed at the sight of it. Sure, I was up ’til 2am in my girlfriend’s bed playing DS to take my mind off the pain and distract myself from my inability to sleep, but the nail bruise backed up my manliness in the face of having to do so. Then, two days after the incident I was in even more pain. And the patch of blue and spread to a patch of blue and black across my entire nail and beyond. And with patches of yellow. And it hurt like fuck. And ‘hurt like fuck’ is an understatement. My finger was twice its normal size. I tried icing, heating, lifting, etc. Nothing helped. I came to realise I had three types of pain. The sharp biting pain. The blunt constant paint. And the dull throbbing pain. All at once. But considering how many sensory nerves we harbour in our fingertips, its unsuprising. And, y’see, when you have an injury under the fingernail… the fingernail itself gets in the way of the swelling. Meaning you have all this pressure stuck under it and causing a world of suicidal thoughts.
Now my dad is a doctor, and my mum is a hospital manager type person. But the strange thing is they have never given me an ounce of useful medical advice or parental sympathy/care in my life. Honestly. My dad’s advice was to take asprin and leave him alone. Thankfully, my girlfriend accompanied me to a 24hour medical clinic whilst I was overcome with restless pain that night. And after a shot of painkillers, some anti-biotics (my lovely finger was not only crushed but badly infected, it seems), and a prescription for some strong painkillers, I was thankfully on my way to recovery. My girl is a saint, by the way. I was instructed that if things didn’t get better, I should go back and they would drill a small hole in my fingernail to release the blood/fluid and relieve the pressure. Thankfully, my finger got in such a state it decided to relieve it itself. Ghastly, I know, but whilst in the shower I noticed the water on the shower floor was a blood tinged red. It seems my finger (which had swollen out even more at that point) had finally had enough, and it was bleeding out like you wouldn’t believe. It was glorious. On and on it went. Relieving a lot of the pain, and actually allowing me to BEND my finger again. Who’d have thought.
Now I just have to wait until my finger rejects the current nail and grows a new one. I don’t even know how the process of growing out this nail will work, but apparently it takes a couple of months at least. Sounds like fun? At least the pain is now manageable.
Sorry for this obviously disturbing post.
